Sound of my Heart

What is that sound

I hear?

You, your cries

muffled by gales of

laughter, rampant emotion...

side effects of that which

helps prevent disease.

Holding you close,

tense, strained by years

of fighting

winning

losing

forging ahead for fear of

falling behind.

I draw you in

for comfort, support.

What's that sound

you hear?

Love beats deep within,

my adoration for you

expressed

through the very 

sound of my heart.

Amidst My Tears

As I lay in my bed,

my pillow is witness

to emotions which

overwhelm me.

Your gentle kiss,

borne out of comforting words,

lends warmth to

my tortured soul.

But nothing removes the guilt

of absence.

I fear that in your hour

your minute

your years of needing me...

I fled.

Selfishly I thought only

of myself.

You hurt from a mental blow.

You never asked,

it should have been

unnecessary.

I didn't man up.

Forgiveness found its way

from your blessed heart

to my damned soul.

It should be enough.

Yet, I drown myself in feelings

of self reproach,

unaware of love.

Ever remorseful,  

I cry for you

amidst my tears.

Promise

I made a vow
to you
for us.

A simple ring witnesses
the very truth which
encircles our hearts.

That very profession of
love before God, in front of
those we hold dear,
that oath does not waver.

Even confronted by
tumourous horror,
faced with the ending breath
of him who we made

(a gift of the Almighty, to be sure),

steadfastly we remained
bound.

Taking nothing for granted,
we give thanks. For everything.

Our laughter, our pain,
our frustratations and our passions
all testify to a pledge which
we hold on to.

Aye, we made our troth,
and this I renew.

Not a day will go by
before eternity claims us
that you won't know,
you won't sense,
you won't feel

my love.

It is you.
This is for you...

my promise.

Another Year

Time has gone and done
what time does best.
Moved forward...relentless
in its pursuit of the next second,
minute by minute,
hour by hour.

We took the journey with Time,
and travelled a road
only we existed on.

Walls were built to keep
us out, some were broken,
inviting us in.

Minute by minute...a little death
took a piece of both of us.
Hour by hour, sunshine filled us
with healing laughter during
light time.

We existed, euphorically we
danced through each second,
music of the night witnessed
the sway of our love.

Light or dark, Time moved on.
And we held each other,
breast to breast
entwined in a passion that
Time cannot stop.

Here's to health!

To happiness!

To our love, growing stronger
as riding the crest of a wave
produced by Time's rolling on.

To us!

We made it through
another year.

The Stench of Second Hand Smoke

20 long years...

for that length of

a burning cigarette,

I surrounded myself

with a cloud of

menthol carcinogens,

or some other flavour

of smoky seduction.

I rolled my own death

in wafer-thin paper,

extinguishing a burning candle

all to a haunting Drum beat,

inhaling with fear,

exhaling with purported

relief.

We were Players,

all the cool kids in

this game of life...

even Dads and Moms

took their turns at

the pipe.

Surgeons in general said it was

bad, they even gave us free

pictures on flimsy cardboard.

But we still drove our muscle

cars, loud music forcing smoke

out of open windows,

pulsing to beats of 80's music...

we were the heads, greasers,

even the jocks and brains

fell for the lure of false bravado.

Nobody was impressed.

Today's age comes with wisdom,

knowing of the frailty of life,

even one not scarred by active

participation.

Lungs heal slowly,

whereas the nose never forgets

the stench

of second hand

smoke.