Needing Life

As I go through my WIP folder, I discover poems that were completed long ago. These poems, if deemed ok in my opinion, will be posted here. For the ones I deem not acceptable, they will never see the light of day. As always, I hope you enjoy my poetry. If you do, please subscribe to get the latest updates. If you don't, so be it. 

Rod Kok
May 8, 2019

It used to be easy

to believe, to trust,

to dance with sunbeams

as they radiated enthusiasm

through the window

to my soul.

But somewhere

on this forked road,

light stopped penetrating,

casting shadows which bled

into darkness.

I am overcome

by a mist, a cold embrace

drawing me down

to its passionless depths.

I am cold and shivering.

I feel naked and alone.

I am scared.

I need your heat,

your love, your caress.

I need life.

Escape

I wrote this a few years ago, and let it in my WIP folder. The message today is every bit as real as it was then. Nothing has changed.

Rod Kok
May 6, 2019

A battle is raging,

a war is being fought.

Two foes fight

over one weary soul.

An epic contest

between Right

and Wrong,

my head is in conflict

with my heart.

Desire wields

a sword,

honed on a whetstone

of Passion.

Wisdom parries

what surely could be

a mortal strike,

while Reason’s voice

is faintly heard.

A blow is struck,

not by arrow

or blade,

but by Words,

penetrating through

the vigilance of my Heart.

Circumspection leads

a counter-attack,

prevailing to gain an edge

for Right.

Conscience interferes,

creating diversions

wherever a foothold

can be found.

A battle is raging;

my head and my heart

each claim victory.

But Conquest has not arrived,

so this fight goes on.

Deep in my soul,

Lust is wrestling Purity.

Damnation pulls Salvation

to the precipice,

only to be denied

by Sacrifice.

I am weary;

I grow tired of

this confrontation.

I grow weary;

I pray for peace.

I pray

for escape.

Epic Sigh or, This is how I feel about me

Here is my latest poem that I am willing to share. I wrote this after a session with my psychologist. No, she doesn't make me feel this way but she sure does make me think. And that is a good thing. Mostly. Please enjoy the poem.

Rod E Kok
January 28, 2019

I lack truth.

Seriously, I do not have

a clue.

Am I supposed to have

all my sh*t together?

Because I don't.

I don't even have sh*t,

never mind having it

together.

Insert an epic sigh

right here.

That is me,

evaluating.

Ruminating.

I do not like

the returns on this path.

I have been told

(yesterday even!)

that I am too hard

on myself.

Yeah, character flaw

and all those other

evaluative (judgmental)

adjectives.

I get it.

But seriously.

Am I really supposed to have

all my sh*t together?

Because I don't.

And probably never will.

That Feeling

Happy new year, dear reader! May your 2019 be filled with happiness and poetry! Lately, my mind has been delving into darker themes (again). No, my depression is not driving my words but rather I am writing with eyes wide open. Maybe dark is the wrong word...let's use 'different'. I am trying to explore different ways to express. The poem I wrote today is borne from nothing personal (this time). But rather it is the offspring of thoughts that just sort of came together in a short period of time. This is the start of my exploration into 'different'. Please enjoy.

Rod E Kok
January 7, 2019

Do you know the feeling of angst,

sitting in the pit

of your stomach?

Maybe angst is the wrong word…

call it whatever you want.

But it is a feeling.

Like something is eating you

from inside out.

Yeah, that sensation.

I have it every time

my thoughts stray.