Thursday, December 25, 2014

March On

I stood at the edge,
hardly daring to look,
or breathe.


Falling backwards into fear itself
was not an impossible fate,
yet I was spared from plummeting
into dark's welcoming embrace.


A step forward took me away
from certain failure.


One foot in front
of the other.
  step
      step
          step


All my efforts
to not fail...


I've tried so hard
to make you proud.


I will march on,
through these valleys which
surround me,
until finally I will reach
a place where there are
no cliffs.

Saturday, December 6, 2014

Lead

Dear reader

Today's post is authored by a new friend and fellow poet Rose Luiten. Her writing strikes me because it's content is so heartfelt, and so poignant. I have never had a guest author on my site before, and I am proud and happy that Rose has agreed to share her work with you all. Please enjoy her poem, and show some love. This piece is simply brilliant. Thank you for sharing, Rose. And yes, I just got the last word in.


Rod E. Kok
December 6, 2014


My limbs are leaden.
No longer leading me forward
I’m weighed down by their weight,
waiting for this feeling to pass,
feeling helplessly lost,
losing scraps of sanity
as insane thoughts flit through my mind
reminding me I’m not okay,
not today.
But I will be. My will will be reinforced
eventually.
I’ll find that handhold, that foothold
and that hand to hold
to lead me out,
tie balloons to my leaden limbs
and lead me up and out.

-Rose Luiten

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Melancholic Colors



I don't live in
a black and white world,
but there are days in which
my pallette is screwed up.


Love and passion
are no longer red,
but hues of grey
fill my soul.


Blues are no longer
beautiful,
but are muted versions
of angry self-loathing.


Nature is not reflected
in pastels,
but my mirror is broken,
for no light exists
in the shadow it creates.


If I truly cared to believe
that the grass is greener,
I could learn to look past
all the melancholic colors.


Monday, November 17, 2014

My Mask


I wear a mask
so nobody will see
what lies behind
my eyes.

I live in a semblance of
normality,
but reality plays tricks,
pretence is the lie I live.

My ever changing facade
reveals what I want the world
to see
to understand.

But it’s not me.

Precious few know me,
or see me in all my
weakness,
because I hide
that which would frighten.

It’s easier to exist
in a world where expectations
are met,
and I can be the man
they want me to be.

So here I am.
I look just like you.
Just please don’t try
to remove my mask.



Thursday, November 13, 2014

Abandoned No More

Hello dear reader. This poem is the first one I've put on my website since #OctPoWriMo ended. I have written a couple poems, but I am saving them for the book I am planning to put out in the near future. I wrote this poem fairly quickly, as it seemed to flow into what you'll read below. It in no way reflects my state of mind at this present time, although I draw on experience to convey the message. I hope you enjoy my first offering of this month. 

Rod E. Kok
November 13, 2014

A torrent of musical notes
carried me along a wayward path,
dark and sombre, it was a dirge...
funereal in its essence, a haunting chant
painted black slashes across
my page.


I cried for support, for help...
a prayer to a God I thought
had abandoned me.


Never am I free from falling,
my ears still hear grim melodies
that have an unforgiving harmony.
My feet stand on the precipice,
my eyes looking into the chasm.


Yet through the cold silence of despair,
a warming embrace takes in my heart,
soothing whispers clothe my naked soul.
I am not alone.


For now I see that trail which leads me
through the valley.
My confidence is renewed,
faith is gifted out of grace,
and I am taught to trust
in my God, for he alone
will never abandon me.

Friday, October 31, 2014

It is Finished

Dear reader, it is a bittersweet day. Today marks the end of #OctPoWriMo.  I can honestly say that I am a bit sad about this. Every day for the past 31 days, I have written a poem based on a prompt from one of our wonderful organizers. Every day I have pushed myself. Somedays it came easy, some days I struggled mightily. But, I did it. And I am proud of it. I probably wrote close to 40 poems in the past 31 days. Knowing what I have done serves as motivation for what I need to do...I need to write. It's in my blood.

Thank you to the organizers and prompters for taking us on this fantastic journey of poetry. Julie, Morgan, Amy and Tamara...thank you. If I missed one someone, I apologize and offer you a special thank you as well.

Thank you to all the poets who contributed their poetry. Reading your work gave me so much inspiration. I have made new friends, and for that I am grateful. Also thank you to all those who read my work. I am humbled that little ol' me could write something that so many enjoyed. I hope our journey together doesn't end here.

And that, dear reader, brings us to my final poem of #OctPoWriMo2014. As the tears fall from my eyes, and as my heart beats a little bit faster, let me say that it is finished.

Rod E. Kok
October 31, 2014


It is finished.


A journey of sharing
is over.
I do not know how
to deal with this.


From the excitement of early morn,
being prompted to write,
to the wonderment of late evening,
seeing how many actually read
my work.


It is finished.


A truly heady experience,
emotions ran rampant
for 31 days.


I gave you my heart
on a readable platter,
my soul was visible
to all who cared to see it.


It is finished.


Never have I written
so much poetry,
rarely have I had
such a feeling of
accomplishment.


I am a blessed man
to have met
so many
great poets,
great writers
better people.


It is finished.


Time to breathe,
time to relax.
For in the big scheme of things,
it has just begun.





Thursday, October 30, 2014

The Day Before

Hello dear reader. Today I stepped way outside my comfort zone. Way outside. I chose to take today's prompt and write a Terza Rima. This form is a poem with an eleven syllable count in each line and a rhyming scheme of aba, bcb, cdc, dd. Talk about a huge challenge! My fingers were kept busy as I counted, and my mind was going nuts trying to make sure everything followed the rhyming scheme.
And so, here is my poem, based on the theme 'On the day before...'. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Rod E. Kok
October 30, 2014

The day before you agreed to marry me
we were confident that our life would be grand
how little we knew about what was to be

The day before our world crashed we had not planned
for things to go wrong with our new baby bump
but we felt grace delivered through our Lord’s hand.

The day before your doctor confirmed the lump
we still saw our future as sunny and bright
nothing has changed, we’ve made it over this hump

Through 20 years, we have never lost our sight
we are not alone, and all things turn out right.



Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Passing Years

Good morning, dear reader. The prompt for day 29 of #OctPoWriMo is love and relationships. We were given a pretty broad field to play in, and I chose the one that comes naturally to me. My poem today is for my dear wife, my best friend. The line in this poem that is my favorite is 'If not for you, there is no me'.  What is your favorite? 

Rod E. Kok
October 29, 2014

The years are passing by.


Without fail, we watch
a timeless passage into
tomorrow.


Daily I pray for
our love to remain
strong.


Without fail, we make
mistakes, causing hurt
grief
sorrow.


We forgive.
We forget.


Time moves on,
and we grow
together.
Passion does not fade,
our own brand of romance
keeps our hearts warm.


Without fail, I realize
the truth.
If not for you,
there is no me.


All that I am
is for you,
because of you.


The years are passing by,
and we are watching
their passage.


Hand in hand,
in love.
Together forever.



Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Two Sides

Day 28, dear reader. Day 28. I never would have thought to make it this far into #OctPoWriMo, but I have surprised even myself. And what is more surprising is that I am enjoying the art of 'thinking outside the box'. I have tried a couple different forms, and tried a couple different approaches. It has been enlightening, and a growing experience.

So, what does today bring us? I have written a double etheree. An etheree is a 10 line poem that consists of 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 syllables. A double etheree is the same, except the order of lines/syllables is reversed in the second verse. 

Today's poem shows two sides of me, both of which very much are real. At times during #OctPoWriMo, I have felt both sides. Thanks to those who have encouraged me *cough Jessica Scott cough* to keep going. The theme we were given to work with was 'hunger' + a secondary 'feeling' word. I chose to use hunger not as relating to food, but rather in relation to my writing and my craft. I hope you enjoy today's offering.

Rod E. Kok
October 28, 2014

doubt
questions
doubt myself
no confidence
my own worst critic
motivation is gone
I hunger to find it back
I long to feel good about me,
feel good about the words I’ve written
but I don’t think I can do this much more


overflowing with confidence, I write
ambition rises like a phoenix
fires of yearning burn aloft
passion for writing to you
joy of sharing my soul
hunger to write more
words are my life
I will write
words of
love


Monday, October 27, 2014

Alone

Hello once again, dear reader. The prompt for day 27 of #OctPoWriMo is sleep. We were given some key words to work with. I was curious as to where this prompt would take me, and the result is quite unexpected. I decided that I did not want to write in my normal form, which is free-verse. I have stepped outside my comfort zone a couple times this month, and have enjoyed every minute of it. Discovering new ways of exercising my brain and honing my craft is exciting and refreshing. I did write an acrostic poem and have a nonet as a WIP, but neither of these will get published for now. 

Today, I went with a cinquain. You can read about this particular form here.  In short, it is a 22 syllable poem, non-rhyming, with the syllables per line being 2, 4, 6, 8, 2.  I don't know if I strictly adhered to all the rules, but there are different schools of thought about the cinquain, different ways to do it. I did stay with the syllable count, as that seems to be the most important. I hope you enjoy this poem. It is very much in line with what I posted on day 26. The prompt naturally led me here. 

Rod E. Kok
October 27, 2014

asleep
immersed in dreams
subconscious thoughts of you
warm and safe in our bed, alone
come home


Sunday, October 26, 2014

Alone in the Dark

Dear reader, day 26 of #OctPoWriMo has us confronting our fears, writing about what scares us. There are many things I fear. I fear rejection by my peers, by the poetic community, by friends. I fear things that I simply will not share with anyone but my wife, I fear stubbing my toes (a curse of big feet). I have serious fears, debilitating fears and silly fears. And it is the silly fear that I am writing about today. 

Once in a while, my wife and kids will go to spend a few days with her parents, and I am left alone at home. I hate it. I hate every moment of an empty house. I especially hate the nights. Will you laugh at this piece, or rather, laugh at me for this piece? Possibly. I don't fear that, for I am writing this in the light. And my wife and kids are by my side. Please enjoy.

Rod E. Kok
October 26, 2014

You have left me alone,
surrounded by darkness,
my heart starts pounding,
my breath quickens,
palms slick with sweat.


I am cold...so cold.


A hair falls from my head,
hitting the floor,
a booming thud.


My old grandfathers clock
calls out time,
midnight has struck
a fearful chord deep
in my soul.


In my bed
there is no warm place
for me to hide…
you are away
(only for a short time).
Please come home,
so I can sleep.


Mysterious footsteps echo
down empty hallways
of our deserted home.
I am alone…
alone with whoever
(or whatever)
lurks in the shadows.


Unreasonable fear
pervades my being,
I wait for dawn.


Waiting for light,
my mind plays tricks.
I cannot sleep,
mysterious sounds whisper
thunderclaps in my room.


Please come home,
so I can sleep.


Please….
come home.