Saturday, June 30, 2012

June 30, 2012

I didn’t think I would have it in me tonight to write anything, but I surprised myself.  I started working on another poem.  I am not sure it is completed, but I got a good start on it.  It is not one of the poems that I feel inclined to publish right away…it didn’t flow quite enough.  And so, I will go over it tomorrow and see what I can change.  Or maybe I will decide to trash it.  Tomorrow will tell.  Besides writing, today was an awesome day.  We spent a lot of time together as family and had a real good time.  And the wife and I even managed to watch an entire movie, something we haven’t done for quite some time.  We watched ‘Romancing the Stone’ from 1984.  Talk about flashbacks.  It was awesome…cheesy, but awesome.  All of this good stuff will help me drift off into a good solid sleep.  I love days like this.


Falling in Love

Soft sunshine through trees
Footsteps crunch fresh fallen leaves
Two hearts become one

Friday, June 29, 2012


I wrote this poem not because it is reflective of my mood, or what I was going through...but rather I think we all at some point can relate to this.

Alone! I cry
I'm so alone
Surrounded by family
Surrounded by friends
Yet so alone

Thoughts in my head
A swirling mess
Darkness comes
Daylight goes
Alone I cry

I pray to God
He seems not near
Maybe it's me
I'm not sincere
I feel alone

Suddenly it happens
The music plays
The light gets brighter

Thoughts still race
I can chase them away
A lightened load
An un-burdened heart
I feel less alone

I have figured it out
Not by myself
I have had some help
Of divine nature
 I can't do it alone

Thursday, June 28, 2012

June 28, 2012

Sigh.  I have nothing once again.  I will have to work really hard to make sure this doesn’t become a trend.  I have no desire to write tonight, along with zero inspiration.  I don’t even think I am going to make 100 words.  Sound familiar?  I wrote almost the same thing last night.  So, this is two in a row.  I don’t want a three-peat.  Nope, I am not interested at all.  We will see what tomorrow brings.  Maybe a good night sleep will help.  And that’s what I will do.


Wednesday, June 27, 2012

June 27, 2012

Tonight is not a good writing night.  I simply have nothing in me to write.  Oh, I have enough pent up emotions and thoughts, but none of it would come out to anything meaningful.  Even this journal entry is a struggle.  And I am only half way to my word count.  On the bright side, I did finish a haiku and sent it in to get published on a website.  It may not be as good as the first one, but then again it may be.  Let the reader be the judge.  And with that, I am done.  But only for the night.


Tuesday, June 26, 2012

June 26, 2012

I do a lot of writing. I can be found, quite often, with my headphones on, iPad in had and simply writing. And when I am really feeling it, I will actually write something coherent, something that flows. I may not write good stuff, but I write stuff. From working on a poem (which is the flavor of the day, month, year...) or trying to write a short story to settling in for the long haul and getting Lionel Aber's story going. Remember Lionel? He was the focus of my work for a while. I haven't forgotten about him. Let's just say that he is on vacation and not able to participate right now. He has promised me he will return. Back to the point. Not everything I write will be fit for everyone. Some stuff I will put on Fifafan right away. Some of my writings will go onto a different website first. And yet other musings will never see the light of day. Why? Because some of it is not what I want anyone to read. I write it for me and my trash bin. But once again, I write.

Monday, June 25, 2012

June 25, 2012

Is another haiku in the works?  Quite possibly.  I have the 5-7-5 written, but I am not sure it is ready for publication yet.  I need to work with it, read it, study it and make sure that what I have written evokes the passion I want it to.  I really don’t want to put anything out there that does not meet my standards.  I may have set my standards high, but I really don’t want to put crap out there.  I realize that what I think is high standards may very well be crap to anyone who reads it.  And that is fine.  Because as long as I am happy with what I write, that is all I ask.  It’s not too much, is it?  No?  I didn’t think so.


Sunday, June 24, 2012

June 24, 2012

This was a very successful weekend for writing. It was an amazing start to my Sunday, for it was when I wrote a poem that I have not yet published on Fifafan. The premise of the poem came to me in the shower, I worked out the words and the remaining thoughts whilst getting dressed for church, and I did the actual writing as I enjoyed my second cup of coffee. This makes three poems in a very short time that I have written. I have also made a new category on my website for my poetry, and wrote a brief article for information purposes regarding where to find my poems. To me, all of this spells success. And I discovered tonight that I cannot force a poem. It simply doesn't work. I will write what is in my head, but not tonight. And before I go to bed just know that for crying out loud, you know I love you.

New Category! My Poetry

Hello dear reader

This is a very brief information post.  If you have read 5-7-5, you will know that I have embarked on a journey of writing poetry.  Although my website is not the first place I publish my poems, some of them will eventually end up here.  And so (this is the information part) there is now a new category under the Ramblings header.  It is called, wittingly enough, My Poems.  Clicking on the link will bring you to, you guessed it, my poems.

So far what I have written has been extremely emotional and deeply personal.  And so far I really like the process of writing poems.  It is very different from writing blog posts or stories.  Maybe my next blog entry will be an insight as to how I get a poem written.  But in the meantime, I really hope you enjoy what I’ve written.  And as always, I encourage interaction via the comments.  I love feedback on my work.  Please consider it.



You lay in my arms
Your breathing so shallow
Tears abound
The end is near
We had each other
For a short time
But we always knew
The end was near
A wee babe
So weak, so frail
The end drew near
So much effort
To help you live
The end came near
Tears fall
Prayers rise
The end so near
Answered prayer
Angels rejoice
The here

Wishful Thinking - A Haiku

Walking beside you
Rushing water and bright sun
Dreams in my head run

Friday, June 22, 2012

June 22, 2012

I strongly suspect that not much writing will get done tonight. I may or may not have poured my drink (or drinks) a wee bit too strong and I am really not in the mood for this. I did, however, search all day for inspiration for my 3rd poem, but nothing really came to me. And that's ok...somehow the idea of 3 poems a week seems to be a really lofty goal. When the idea hits, I will write it, but I sure don't want to force it. A forced writing, whether poetry or fiction, will seem forced, and thus be unreadable. And I simply don't want to go that route. Tomorrow is another day.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

June 21, 2012

Today I wrote another poem. Like the haiku, it didn't take long. And like the haiku, it is deeply personal and so massively emotional. I won't be posting it up here today...I am not ready for that. To have my work critiqued by strangers is easier than having it read (presumably) by people I know. I hope that doesn't sound too rude. I deeply appreciate those who read what I write and publish here on Fifafan. And I promise that soon I will post it for anyone to read. I mentioned in a recent article that I am unsure where this poetry thing came from, and I haven't figured it out yet. But I have come to understand that writing in that style is a very different journey than writing a short story. How long is this road I've turned onto? I have no clue. But I don't see any stop signs. And so I travel on. At least for today.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012


Good evening, dear reader

Once again I am writing something that comes from the heart. I am excited to write this post, although I have no idea how it’s going to flow. I know the very basics of what I want to say, but I am very unclear as to how to say it. I also know that this is going to be about poetry. To be precise it is going to be about haiku. And so, I invite you to come with me on a journey. A journey where 17 syllables are all you’re allowed. A journey where very few words are allowed to be spoken or written. Join me dear reader, for we go to the land of 5-7-5.

For some of you, this is no surprise. If you follow me on Twitter (@Fifafan1969) or are a friend on Facebook, you may have noticed my tweet (post) from a couple days ago regarding the very subject of this article. Yes, dear reader, I have written a poem. I have written haiku. This is something very different for me. I like poetry, but I don’t read it much and I certainly don’t write it ever. Until now. I think the last poem I wrote was in grade 10 or 11. And it is entirely possible that I haven’t read a poem since then as well. Until now. And the thing is…I don’t know where it came from. I am not entirely sure what got into me to write a poem. However, motivation aside, I am very pleased with how it turned out. Are you curious yet? Do you want to know what I wrote? Patience, grasshopper. All will be revealed in its own time.

Before we get into my contribution to the world of 5-7-5, we should look at what exactly haiku is. According to, haiku is a major form of Japanese verse, written in 17 syllables divided into 3 lines of 5, 7, and 5 syllables, and employing highly evocative allusions and comparisons, often on the subject of nature or one of the seasons. Wikipedia has an extensive page on haiku. Check it out if you’re interested.

The interesting question is this: What in the name of all that is good possessed me to pen haiku? What was I thinking? I am not a poet, I have never shown any inclination (aside from the debacle in high school) towards poetry and I have never even intimated that I’d be interested in writing poetry. And yet, I found myself strangely moved by the thought of writing a poem. But why? I think that part of it is tied up in my nature. I am a very passionate, ‘wear my heart on my sleeve’ type of person. I am a romantic. And I have a lot of things that I’d like to write. But I was having troubles getting some of it into a story. I didn’t know where to go with it. This had been building up for some time now. I have started stories, stopped stories, continued stories and dropped stories. But I needed to get something written, something complete. I really needed to express some emotion that has been building. It was a release I was seeking.

And then it came to me. It struck very quickly. And when I realized what I had to do, I did some very quick research to find the proper format, the proper definition. And I wrote. I expressed. I counted. Yes, dear reader, I counted the first line…5 syllables. Or, more properly, 5 morae. The second line revealed more of the emotion I was after, and it was 7 morae. The third line wrapped it up. Yup, you guessed it…5 morae. The whole process didn’t take me very long. It flowed. It found its way from my heart, from my soul onto paper (or into a Word document in this case). And when I was done, and sure of the 5-7-5, I sighed a sigh of relief. And I was exhausted mentally. Yes, I was emotionally drained. Many people who read this may not get it. I may get mocked. I may be the object of ridicule. That’s fine, because as I stated before, I wear my heart on my sleeve. Writing this haiku was deeply personal, overwhelmingly emotional and downright tiring.

But now what? What do I do with it? Where do I go? Well, the first logical place was here at And as the logical choice, I ignored it. I wanted to reveal it here after I had some feedback. So I posted it at a website I am a member of. It is s website devoted to writers, aspiring writers, writing critics, and word lovers. Once the haiku was posted there, the members of the site have the opportunity to vote and comment on whatever is posted. I have received some incredibly up-building feedback from a few of the people there. And that, dear reader has been good for my confidence. It made me feel good about my writing.

And here we are. We are nearing the end of this article, but I suspect that this is not the end of poetry from me. I love the expression I can get, the passion I can display in a poem. I may just try it again. If you have made it this far into the article, I thank you.

The tag line on the website for my haiku is this:

My very first attempt at's meant to evoke dreams of love and romance.

The title of my haiku:

Wishful Thinking - A Haiku

And now I leave you, dear reader. I leave you after opening my heart and revealing a little bit of me that you may not have known. And I leave you with my haiku. I hope you get it. I hope it fulfills the tag line. It is fine, though if it doesn’t. And if it’s not your interest, that is fine too. This haiku was a deeply personal journey. It had a profound effect on me as I wrote it, and every time I read it. And I want to share it with you. I give you my haiku. I give you 5-7-5.


Walking beside you

Rushing water and bright sun

Dreams in my head run



June 20, 2012

First of all, happy 51st anniversary to my parents today!  Yay!  Truly a milestone to be thankful for.  And yes I did call them; this is not the only medium I used to express my congratulations.  Let’s carry on, then.  Originally I was going to use this journal entry to talk about haiku.  However, I have changed my mind.  I am not going to talk about it here.  Rather, I am going to end this entry and move right into my next blog post, in which I will talk about haiku, poetry and me.  I will even post the haiku I wrote.  And so, before I lose my motivation, I bid you farewell.  5-7-5.


Monday, June 18, 2012

June 18, 2012

Tonight was an awesome night.  David (my son) and I went to an event that was put on by the RCCO and was hosted at the Providence CanRC.  There was a presentation about organ building and organ tuning.  A lot of it was over my head, but the 11 year old boy soaked it up.  Following the presentation, there was an opportunity for the many organists to play the wonderful pipe organ that the church has been blessed with.  Some wonderful organists played the organ, and entertained the group that was assembled.  And lo and behold, my 11 year old got up there and played a piece by Bach…and he almost nailed it!  It made me proud of the lad.  I suspect the young’n will be dreaming about this for days, as when he was done he got a rousing round of applause.  Yup, I am proud of him.  Wouldn’t you be?


Sunday, June 17, 2012

June 17, 2012

Ok, so it's been a couple days since I've written.   I really hope nobody thought I was losing it again, because that is not the case.  I simply haven’t had time.  And ok, I’ve been a bit distracted by other things.  This is why I need to get away for a couple days on a writing retreat.  I am thinking of a small (free) campground in Barrhead.  I could bring the wife and kids to the in-law’s place and I could go set up my tent, buy some food, drink and assorted stuff….and write.  For two days.  Just sit by the fire eating, drinking and writing.  I am really excited at the prospect of having some time alone to get some stuff done.  The problem with trying to accomplish this at home is that there are way too many distractions here.  There is the TV, the video games and stuff like that.  If I want to get going, I have to be away from all of this.  Maybe I will spend a day in the park, or at least an afternoon.  That will give me an indication if that will help me.  I suspect it will.  But in the meantime, I will continue to try.


Thursday, June 14, 2012

June 15, 2012

For a very brief period of time today, I was in the mood to write something. I was really itching to put a few words down that would add to a story I am working on. The only problem is that I was driving, and something tells me that would be a really bad time to break out the iPad for a mad session of thumb-typing. Yep, a really bad time. And so, I put off the feeling. And promptly lost it. I did not get it back all night, and now here I am, lying in bed furiously mashing my digits against the letters with only 10 minutes left in this day. And so it ends...another day of lofty goals and little accomplishment. But I do remember the song that got me going. And that is a positive, isn't it Sister Christian.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

June 13, 2012

Well, after a few days absence, I am back.  I did not disappear because of a lack of interest, but rather a lack of time.  It has been a busy week so far, and thus something has to suffer.  Unfortunately this week, it was my journal entries that suffer.  But that’s ok.  I have done some thinking and planning on some stuff I want to write, so I have been productive somewhat.  Maybe not as much as I’d like but as I have said many times, that’s the way it goes.  Fairly soon I will be writing another blog article…I am just waiting for the right moment to put it down.  Hopefully there will be something interesting to read soon.  Hopefully something better than these journal entries.


Sunday, June 10, 2012

June 10, 2012

In yesterday’s journal, I left in a defiant mood.  Phrases like ‘I want to’ and ‘I can’ and ‘I will’ is the last things I wrote, the last things I felt.  Today is no different.  No wait, that’s not true.  Today is different.  It is different because I received some positive reinforcement.  I had a conversation with two people at church, both who asked me about my writing.   We had a wonderful chat about technique, creativeness and making it all work.  And much to my delight, I was not laughed at.  Some people think that wanting to write a book is a lofty goal, but those people are thinking of the New York Times bestseller list.  But that is not a goal of mine.  Even getting published is not a goal.  It is a dream, no doubt.  But a goal?  No.  I write for my enjoyment.  And so, tonight I feel positive.  I don’t feel like writing, but I do feel good.  And who knows…as I’m lying in bed in a few short minutes, I may just pull out the iPad and start plunking some words into a document.  And from that exercise may just come something that makes sense.  Or at least may just look like a bunch of words.


Saturday, June 9, 2012

June 9, 2012

Well, here I sit.  I sit here with my shot of Crown Royal Black, my box of Original Vegetable Thins, my laptop and the TV playing the movie ‘You’ve Got Mail’.  Oh, and drowning out the sound of the TV is the sound of thunder.  That’s why I can’t put music on…my kids might be up any minute…scared.  Hopefully not, but one never knows.  And even with this seemingly utopian existence, I sit here disappointed.  Sad.  Forlorn.  Why?  Because the best intentions I have don’t seem to work.  I have to write.  So what do I do?  I don’t write.  I have ideas.  So what do I do?  I don’t expound on them.  Why is this so difficult?  Rhetorical question, so please don’t answer.  Maybe I should just stick to writing my journal, and feeling sorry for myself and my lack of interest in actually writing anything of consequence.  And along with my journal, I can post something on my blog that may or may not reach the readers.  But wait.  Hold the fort.  Why on earth should I stop?  (Rhetorical, don’t answer).  I can write, I’m just not motivated.  But I need to look inside of myself and admit that I write not to make money, or to change the world…no, I write because I love to express myself in the written word.  I love to manipulate words in such a way that whoever reads it can smell the flowers, feel the touch of silk, hear the crashing waves, see the wind blow and understand why two people have fallen in love.  Yes, that’s what I have to work on…not because I have to.  But because I want to.  And because I can.  And I will.


Friday, June 8, 2012

June 8, 2012

Today, I have to write.  I have to write more than just this journal entry.  I have to do it because even after a few days of not writing, the willingness to do so is dissipating.  I am not feeling good about the efforts of the last few days.  I know that if I don’t write, I won’t write.  And so, I will write.  And I will try follow a piece of advice I read the other day…finish what you write.  I have a few stories on the go, and although I won’t finish them all, I’d like to get one finished and put up under my Story Spinner.  I really hope to have that up for reading by the end of the weekend.  And so, I will put on some tunes, put up my feet, have a shot of bourbon and write.  At least, that’s the plan.


Tuesday, June 5, 2012

June 5, 2012

100 words, huh?  Does it double because I missed last night?  Hey, I make the rules and I re-define the rules.  I don’t break them…I re-define them to suit my own purposes.   And yes I can do that.  I write this stuff after all.  And so, here I am again, writing an entry in my journal.  I don’t have much to say tonight, except that I will be working on another amazing story.  The only difference is that the story I am going to write is a true story…a follow up story.  I am not going to give too much away, for I want it to be a bit of a surprise.  And I have no idea how to write it.  But that’s ok.  Time is on my side.  I just decided.  I re-defined the rules.  Again.


Sunday, June 3, 2012

June 3, 2012

Tonight, I have zero ambition.  I have zero inspiration.  I have zero desire to write.  And yet, I write.  I will struggle to get my 100 words down and posted.  I will struggle to find something meaningful to say.  But I will do it.  There has been nothing in the tank today, and I don’t know why.  It doesn’t concern me, however.  It is only one day.  I am sure that all writers have days like this.   Funny enough, I have days like this, and I’m just a wannabe.  Tomorrow will be a lax day for scribing as well…work all day and a meeting at night.  Hopefully a journal entry will happen when I get home from the meeting.  Yup, there’s nothing here.  But I beat my 100 word limit.  And so I’m done.


Saturday, June 2, 2012

June 2, 2012

I am writing this entry in the mid afternoon of today.  Why?  Because I want to.  And I don't know how much time I will have tonight when we get home from the BBQ.  So if I don't have time for journal writing, that means I most likely won't have time for working on any stories.  But I am writing.  In my last entry, I talked about zones, and where to find my muse.  Not much has changed...I still have no answers.  But I do know that music, certain music, will fire the creative guns.  So, what I need to do is create a playlist in iTunes that I can plug into when I want to write.  And when I find songs that move me, I can just add them to a playlist.  I already know that different music suits different moods, which equates to different styles of writing.  If I write dark stories, there will be music for that.  If I write a piece based more on emotion and love, there will be music for that.  And so, this fits in nicely with my goal of focusing on the zones.  Without the zones, I fear my writing will be worse than usual.  And so, I continue to search...and listen...and write.


Friday, June 1, 2012

June 1, 2012

Ok, theoretically this journal entry is being written on the 2nd, but I am going to count it on the 1st.  It is really early in the morning…almost my bedtime.  I haven’t had any time to write until now, so I figured I had better get my 100 words down.  So let’s talk zones.  I need to be in a certain zone in order to write, and the thing I thought about earlier today was this:  how do I get into the zone where I can really put some good stuff down?  I am not sure, and that frustrates me.  So, my goal for the next little while is to really focus on that issue.  What am I doing, what is stimulating me when I get into the zone that helps me to write.  And I will document it all, not for public consumption, but for my own use.  I think it is obvious from this entry that I am not in the zone.  Nope, nothing to document here.