As I lay in my bed,
my pillow is witness
to emotions which
overwhelm me.
Your gentle kiss,
borne out of comforting words,
lends warmth to
my tortured soul.
But nothing removes the guilt
of absence.
I fear that in your hour
your minute
your years of needing me...
I fled.
Selfishly I thought only
of myself.
You hurt from a mental blow.
You never asked,
it should have been
unnecessary.
I didn't man up.
Forgiveness found its way
from your blessed heart
to my damned soul.
It should be enough.
Yet, I drown myself in feelings
of self reproach,
unaware of love.
Ever remorseful,
I cry for you
amidst my tears.
Beautiful.
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