Tuesday, January 10, 2017


Good afternoon dear reader,

Today's poem is deeply personal. It was written during my lunch break today, and reflects my true feelings about my upcoming counselling session. Welcome to this part of my brain...it isn't a very nice place to be. 

Rod E. Kok
January 10, 2017

Today is another day
when I put myself
into a position of

Today is another day
when someone is allowed
on my side
of the wall.

I hate these days,
mostly because
they are so damn necessary;
I need these days
to help me heal
my broken mind.

What has all this confession done,
other than make me withdraw
even more?
I seem unable
to forgive myself.

Confession and forgiveness,
the theme of my sessions.
But what is the point?
I have confessed to someone
I pay to listen,
my soul has been bared
to someone who has
no vested interest.

I could never confess to you
the very things I have unloaded
on her, my counsellor.
I could never divulge my sin
to those I would hurt.

Again I ask, what is the point?
It seems best to hide
behind my wall,
striving to forget
I ever existed.

1 comment:

  1. oh the struggles on this side of eternity! The most amazing cool thing though...your wall, well someone has seen everything there, even more than you can see. Has shone alight so bright NOTHING is dark and hidden...and guess what...He loves you anyways, just as you are. Broken bent and spent. You might not forgive yourself, but you have been forgiven if you have gone to Him.
    Amazing grace!!
    Keep writing - it is full of hope!