Wanna Smoke?

Good afternoon, dear reader

For 20 years or so, I was a smoker.  At times, I was a very heavy smoker...2 packs a day type stuff.  But, for the most part, I was a 1/2 a pack a day kinda guy.  Yup, my fingers had a yellow tinge, my pillow was stained with the nicotine that bled out of my pores at night, dentists despised my teeth (although they loved the bills I had to pay for them to try make my whites pearly), and for 11 years, my wife complained about kissing an ashtray.  Yes, dear reader....I was a smoker.

Almost 3 years ago, I made the decision to quit smoking.  I had just finished spending over $70 on a carton, and it suddenly struck me what a waste of money that was.  Along with the fact that I'd been experiencing quite a bit of chest pains and shortness of breath, the signs were pointing towards quitting.  So, I told myself that when the carton (plus 2 packs of American smokes) were gone...that was it.  I was done.  And sure enough....my last smoke was on a Monday morning around 11AM...right after a staff meeting.  I remember that moment very well.  It's the sort of thing one doesn't forget...kind of like 'where were you when Kennedy was shot'.  (I was a a mere wish in my father's brain, but I digress).

And here we are....almost 3 years later.  And you're wondering why i'm bringing up smoking now.  Let me try paint you a picture, dear reader.  On a sunny Friday morning, the grass is still wet with dew, or maybe it was a bit of rain from the night before.  I'm standing on the fairway of the 7th hole.  Ok, busted...it's actually the fairway of the 3rd hole, but I'm playing the 7th....my drive was a bit askew.  I'm golfing with 2 nephews and a good friend....mere hours before a wedding.  The air is crisp...the 4 of us wend our way through the fairways and greens (not always our own!!).  We've pretty much got the course to ourselves.  Our laughter (and the odd curse because of a bad shot) fills the air...we're having a grand time.  We were alone...but now, on the 7th hole, we are joined by a videographer.  Apparently, this is part of the whole wedding thing.  You see, one of the golfers is the groom, one is the best man, and two are groomsmen.  Perfect time to get the silliness on video.

Have I lost you yet, dear reader?  Continue reading.  A couple of the people present light up cigars.  Now, I'm not a huge fan of the smell of cigarette smoke, but on this beautiful morning, the smell of a freshly lit cigar was intoxicating.  Wow.  We are so relaxed, having some fun, being (dare I admit it?) a bit silly.  And there it was, like a weight pressing down on me.  My whole psyche was feeling the pressure....I was finding it hard to breathe.  Got it figured out yet, dear reader?  I was craving a smoke...desperately.  Oh, I'd had a nic fit before....heck, it hasn't even been 3 years since I'd quit.  But this one....this was bad.  I wasn't sure I was going to get through this one.

Are you a smoker, dear reader?  An ex-smoker?  If you are, you'll know what I'm talking about.  As a smoker, there is an easy cure to this phenomenon....have a smoke.  As an ex-smoker, it is much more difficult.  Every ex-smoker has their own method of dealing with this craving.  I just take a real deep breath, and hope like mad that it goes away.  (Notice I didn't mention the reformed smokers?  They are the ones who look down their noses at the lowly peons that dare to smoke in their illustrious presence, and claim that only losers smoke.  Totally forgetting that their last smoke was mere months ago.  Nope, I'm not mentioning the reformed smokers...they frost my apricots.)

Well, dear reader.  I survived the scare.  It was close.  I'm sure I could have cajoled one of the smokers to hook me up and light me up.  At the time, I actually imagined that I would even enjoy it.  Looking back, I think I would have coughed and hacked out a lung, leaving a quivering jelly-like mass on the 7th green or maybe on the 8th tee box.  Looking back, I think I would have turned a horrid shade of green.  Looking back, I don't think I would have enjoyed it.

Wanna smoke, dear reader?  I sure don't.

Fifafan

Creativity...BEGONE!!!!

Good evening dear reader.

I have one word for this entry....SIGH.  Yup, I am sighing with frustration.  I seem to have a bad case of writers block.  I have started a few different articles, but all of them stalled fairly early on.  I have tried to start a book, but I can't get into it.

SIGH

What do I do, dear reader?  I need your help.  Why don't I let you decide what I write about next.  Remember my Monday Musings?  Why don't you suggest some topics for me.  Maybe that will get the creative juices flowing.

Help me out, dear reader.  Please?  If you don't want your suggestion to be made public, then please send me an email via the 'Contact Us' link.  But please...suggest something.  Because as the title suggests....my creativity is BEGONE.

*SIGH*

FF

The Summer of....what?

Hello dear reader and welcome once again to my blog.

Is the title too confusing?  To be honest, I'm not 100% sure what I'm expecting out of this article.  Maybe just a run down of all the summer activities to date.  I might throw in an update on Dianne too.  But, for the most part, I'm just going to write whatever I feel like writing...kind of like I always do.

The summer started off real well.  Officially, on July 5th, my promotion at work kicked in.  I went from being a Help Desk Analyst to a Technical Analyst.  Basically, that means that I am now working out at a variety of schools, providing tech support.  This is a very thrilling change for me.  To be honest, it took longer to move off the Help Desk than I expected, or wanted, but there were reasons for this.  I won't go into details, but suffice it to say that the management team at work made the right decision in keeping me in the Help Desk role for the extra time.

The cool thing about the day the new position started is that my holidays started on the same day!!  I love my job.  Yup, starting July 5, I took  2 weeks off....and had a very nice couple weeks.  I spent a couple days at home with Dianne and the kids...and we packed.  We had to pack basically for two trips...one trip to Barrhead and then a trip to southern BC.  As there was hardly any time between the two trips, we had to pack for both before either started.  More on that debacle later (please remind me if I forget).

So, the first week.  Keith and Jessica's wedding.  An event anticipated for a long time.  And what a beautiful day it was!!  But, before I get to the day itself, a bit about the days leading up to it.  The decorating of the school gym was a long, 2 day affair.  I commend everyone who designed, directed and helped, for the place was turned into a masterpiece.  It really was an amazing sight.  Over the days leading up to the wedding, I met some very nice people....mostly from Jess's side.  Her brother Patrick and his wife, Brendan and Lisa, Joel and Crystal, Kelly and Trevor....all of them I really liked meeting.  (I'm not sure the feeling is mutual, but hey....I am who I am.)  There were others I met as well, but I can't remember their names right now.  There was some brilliant golf played (not that the scores indicated our brilliance, but the amount of fun we had was brilliant), and some good food consumed (and maybe the occasional beverage).  All in all, it was a great time!!!

The morning of the wedding, Keith, James, Chris and I went for 9 holes of golf.  I'm sure pictures will show up at some point, because the videographer and 2 photographers were there for holes 8 and 9.  Hopefully the shots are all of Keith....  Now, one thing needs a quick explanation.  For months, I have been teasing / negotiating with Jessica (the bride, not the sister) about what independant choices I have regarding the clothes I was to wear (I was Keith's best man).  I had pretty much no choice (as expected).  However, my awesome negotiating skills and Jessica's willingness to allow me a small victory  produced this:  I was allowed to choose my own socks!!!!  And the choice was revealed after the ceremony, after Keith and Jess and Crystal and I walked out.....before I was allowed to give Jess a congratulatory hug, she asked to see the socks.  And there they were.....baseball style socks (knee length, with nothing around the  heel or toes)....bright orange!!!  Hup Holland Hup!!!!!!!  The hysterical part was that Keith was wearing a pair, as were James and Chris (groomsmen).  Oh it was priceless to see Jess's reaction.  Well played, team!!!!

This article is getting long enough, and you are probably getting bored, so in the near future I will put up another article with the rest of the promised information (2nd week of vacation, Dianne's update etc etc).  Thanks for reading this, I hope you enjoyed it.  As always, I appreciate your comments on both my articles and my photo gallery.  If you have something to say, but don't want it public, then use the 'Contact Us' link on the main page to send me an email.  I look forward to those as well

Until next time, dear reader....cheers.

FF

Update and.....update and stuff.

Good Morning dear reader

Welcome once again to fifafan.ca.  For those of you who were re-directed here from fifafan69.blogspot.com....welcome.  This is the place for my blog entries, so bookmark it, and check back once in a while.  My posting has been a bit random, so don't check back too often.  Better yet, use the RSS feed.

So, what's going on you ask?  Lots of stuff.  My big helicopter is still not flying.  The speed controller blew up for unknown reasons, thus I have to wait for a new one to come out of Hong Kong.  I'm holding out a very slim hope that I'll have it flying before I depart on holidays.  And that's it for heli talk.

Anyone watching the World Cup?  My teams, in order, are Holland, Spain and England.  Beyond that I just don't care.  I find it very comical that the French blew up, the Italians showed their age, and as much as I like the English, why do they insisit it's their God given right to do well at the WC?  They really aren't that good.  The only reason the Premiership is so good is all the foreigners.  A select few British players are really any good....Gerrard and...and....well, Gerrard.  John Terry is shyte apart from the fact he plays on a Chel-scum team that has some brilliant foreigners, and the same for Frank Lampard.  Wayne Rooney is only good in club football, and then because he has some foreigners on his team that can feed him the ball in space, thus allowing him to score.  His british counterparts couldn't find him in space for 4 games....thus Rooney looked like poo out there.  Meh, as long as Holland beats Slovakia today, I'm happy.  After that, I fully expect them to crater as is their wont.  /end WC rant.

Very soon is the wedding of my nephew Keith.  Less than two weeks away is the big event...and we made some definite plans for the days leading up to the day.  The Wednesday is our golfing 'stag', followed by a BBQ and bonfire.  Thursday is decorating, followed by golf.  and Friday morning is golf before the ceremony (with the brides permission!!!!!!)  Really, I just want to golf.  Speaking of golf, I went out on Saturday, and broke 100 for the first time ever!!!!!!  Back to wedding plans...if Keith thinks he's uptight, he should see the state of mind I'm in.  I don't even have my 'toast to the groom' done yet.  Oh my.  The stress.  *sigh*

Now on to the important stuff.  Here is another update on my dear wife.  The Herceptin treatments she's been taking are over.  Yay!!!  They cancelled the last one because of her heart.  Boo!!!  Yes, you read that right.  I posted about this in an earlier blog that the Herceptin caused her heart to show signs on cardiac toxicity.  Well, that did not improve any, so they called off the final Herceptin.  For now, Dianne will remain on the heart medicine until she gets her heart checked out again by the experts.  I'll let you know how that turns out.

 

Also, starting in September, Dianne will be participating in a study that will see her take a new drug called Neratinib.  We had some concerns about this drug and its side effects, but her oncologist reassured us that all the side effects are treatable.  Originally Dianne was going to turn down the opportunity to participate in this study....mainly because she's had enough.  She is tired, and it takes hardly anything to wear her out.  Yes, she looks healthy and she looks awesome, but really people....there are still issues.  I think most people forget that (not that I blame them for that).  The thinking is that she must be good since she looks so good.  Not so much.  The heart medicine really sets her back every morning, and this new drug too will not be very pleasant.  The oncologist really wants Dianne on this study, because she is a very high risk for re-occurrence due to the type of cancer she had.  Fortunately, she will be able to start the study in September, once the kids are in school.  She really did not want this drug and its side effects to ruin her summer...and now it won't.  We are very thankful for that.  Again, I will keep you all informed as to any test results that we get back, and I will continue to post updates if there's anything.

And that, dear reader, is all I've got for today.  Hup Holland, Hup!!!!!!!!

Cheers,

FF

Update....but not here

'Allo dear reader

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