The Little Ship

Hello again, dear reader

This poem is the third one I wrote for the Anxiety / Release collaboration. Yes, the third. And no, there was not a second. The second attempt never got finished, and thus will never get posted.

This particular piece is not my favorite, and definitely not one of the stronger ones I wrote for the collaboration. I think it is fairly obvious why it did not make the cut. Yet I am posting it. Why? Well, I want to give you an idea as to what I went through as I contemplated, ruminated and struggled with as the process went on. This poem is dark, and I remember that I was in a fairly dense fog (mentally, not physically) as I wrote it. But I can't help but feel that there is something missing, something incomplete with this piece. I can't put my finger on it. I did edit this piece a bit long after the actual writing date, and it did make it better than the original. 

Once again, I ask that, at the very least, you can appreciate what it takes to write this dark poetry. It is not just random words, it is a thought process that starts as a tiny idea, and with a heavy heart and foggy mind, that idea grows into something....scary. 

Feedback is always welcome.

Rod E. Kok
March 2014

Feelings persist,
gnawing at my core,
burrowing
inch by bloody inch
through the fabric of
wet, clammy skin.

Maybe I should remain
alone...

What if I am not
good enough?

Deep breath…

you can do this

is what I am told

by sadism buried inside my
troubled mind.

Don't worry...everyone will
   (laugh at you)
think you're wonderful.

One step at a time,
time keeps pace with
wildly jumbled thoughts
of inadequacy.

Convincing myself I can
leave my hole, 

sweating to
over-worked imagination,
it is only a bottle
that allows me to sail away
on the little ship
contained within.