Thank you, from my own two feet

Under my blanket

of darkness,

your whispering voice

reached deep into

this tortured soul.

Your resolve,

holding me in love's embrace,

kept me warm.

That tender caress,

offered unconditionally,

slowly drew back

coverings of self-loathing.

A prayer offered up,

amidst tears of anguish,

answered in a love

only you can provide.

You only offered

encouragement.

That is what I needed.

No judgement or rebuke.

You had no

'easy fixes'.

As I lie

in gloomy shadows,

your soft touch

cooled my burning skin.

I fell from a confident perch,

remaining prostrated

beyond the light.

But you...

you became

my strength

my words

that song which lent power

to my weakened mind.

You are my everything.

You gave the desire to stand

on my own two feet.

Thank you.

Through Closed Eyes

Worry not

for me,

I will be fine.

Look not upon my frailties

as something I

control,

or my weaknesses as

choice.

No one is in a position

to judge,

we all hide something.

I chose to admit

I cannot swim against

currents of despondency.

I have revealed a part of me

which might have remained

buried.

A struggle of mind,

at times there is

no hope for

tomorrow.

My false exterior

has faded,

a heart is laid bare

for all to see.

I hope you understand,

or at the very least

don't judge.

There is no room

for black and white

in a technicolor world.

Please do not worry.

And please don't look

at me

through closed eyes.

Hidden

A childhood favorite becomes

something with

an entirely different

meaning.

    (count to 10

        then try to find me)

Today, yesterday

tomorrow

it has become

a game for one.

    (8...9...10! Ready or not,

         not one is coming.)

Nobody gets close

in this solitary

game.

Feelings and thoughts

are well disguised,

only slightly revealed

through cracks in the wall.

    (Where are you?

         Where did you go?)

Sequestered by failings,

inadequacy paints a veneer of

confidence

self esteem

vibrancy.

None of it exists.

    (Are you still playing?)

This childhood game

is renamed, redefined.

For if anybody seeks,

I shall remain

hidden.

Only a Dream

I had a dream.

My mind was filled

with images of

carvings out of exotic woods

songs passionately played

words smithed into beautiful poetry.

I saw a lovely garden

planted by the very hands

which turned to gold

everything they touched.

In vibrant reds and pinks,

roses grew for the one

he loved.

Swirling letters in

calligraphic art

formed those very words

my heart cried.

This vision brought me

to tears,

to the very brink

of collapse,

for as I awoke

to morning's sun

I understood.

In my sleep, I saw

what I wished

I was.

Then I accepted

that it was

only a dream.

Picking up the Pieces

I'm trying to find back

remnants of confidence

which never really existed.

Sweeping illusions under

a rug of mediocrity,

reflection is a game

I'd rather not play.

Looking backwards leads

to a world

of darkness

sadness

regret.

Buoyed by support

from those who

understand

care

love

I don't mindlessly drift

upon this sea of tears,

but riding waves of

emotion

I learn to let currents

of feelings

guide me

to a safe haven.

Uncertainty in self

clouds my ability

to let people in,

but through

my words

my poems

I offer a glimpse

of my heart,

my soul

my mind.

With each hurt I write,

I step out

of that firing line

which shatters me

I run into your arms

for help

for support

and together we work

at picking up

the pieces.

beyond the hurt

days have passed by,

sun and moon running

their course

time has moved on

each day blending into

the previous one

tomorrow holds promise

of healing,

yet the future

never arrives

we are left to languish,

wondering about our ability

to forgive

forget

move on

it’s easy, it’s hard

I’ve made a mess of

trying to clean up

the pieces of

my broken heart

my face smiles

my heart cries

I hide behind lights

of darkness,

afraid that someone might see

me

and my broken

desire to write words

of peace.

I seek your friendship,

your respect

your love

for that is what will take me

beyond the hurt.

Starlit Muse

I lay under

shimmering stars,

pale moonlight washes

over me in gentle

illumination.

Monotonous tones

of cicadas fill

the air.

My mind searches for

a sound…

a melody of inspiration,

harmony hitting notes

of enlightenment.

Clouds frolick,

muted in their movement.

Yet that dance...

a glimpse!

Briefly time stood still

as I saw you

in the heavens.

A wispy smile offers

a glimpse

of our sun's fading light,

and those eyes...

those eyes cast

a gaze of love

into my soul.

You became

my starlit muse.

finding peace

somedays it’s nice
just to sit
relax
unwind

free one’s mind
of thoughts which
drag us down.

feet propped up
on an ottoman
eyes closed
music playing

idyllic

rye ‘n’ coke
and a bag of chips

guilty pleasures
lend a helping hand
to bring us
up

a temporary utopia
is what I need
crave
desire

in the absence
of sadness
sorrow
disappointment
I find
peace.